Session Tips
Booking a Session
Last Updated (Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:50) Written by D Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:54
First, before doing anything else do your homework! Picking a Domme based on looks or location is a bad idea. Your first task is to find out what her playstyle is and her expectations for your level of experience. If you are sessioning for the first time, make sure to let her know. If a Domme specializes in hard core corporal punishment and you are looking for a bondage session, you may find yourself disappointed. Likewise, seeing a Domme who is a superstar bondage rigger when you are looking for humiliation may leave you unfulfilled. You can find session reviews online andit is worth reading up and seeing what kind of experiences others have had as well.
Once you find a Domme who shares your interest, contact her with a brief email describing your interests or call her. If you call, don't call from a blocked number. If you session with this person, you will be potentially trusting her with your comfort, freedom, and maybe even your life. If you aren't ready to trust her with your phone number, you should re-evaluate your desire to see a professional domme.
Not all Dommes will see novices. And, more and more, the best Dommes in the scene are becoming more selective about who they see. One Domme recently told me she will only session with roughly one out of twenty potential clients. Which leads to . . .
Second, you only get one chance to make a good impression. When you first contact a Domme, whether by email or phone, it is extremely important that you be respectful and clear about what you are looking for. This is not a session. She is not going to dominate you on the call. You should be polite and explain your interests. "I am interested in an intense bondage session with some teasing and denial," is appropriate. "Please Mistress, I will do anything for you," is not. Option number two will mark you as a likely no show and as a bad session partner.
Third, Dommes are not mind readers. During that first call and subsequent contact before the scene, you need to communicate. She doesn't know your fantasies or fetishes. You need to tell her. The more information you can provide, the better scene you will have. It is as simple as that.
Fourth, information is different from giving directions. There is a phenomenon known as "topping from the bottom," meaning that the sub is trying to control the session, what happens, how it happens, when it happens. This annoys Dommes. I mean it really annoys them. Consider the difference between saying "Tease me now, Mistress" or even "I want the scene to incorporate heavy spanking" and "I love being teased Mistress" or "Spanking is probably my biggest kink, especially when it is heavy." The first is making a demand and trying to control the scene. The second is giving her information that she can choose to act on or not. It gives her control over your fetish or kink, which is the position you want her to be in. You do it the second way and I can almost promise you can get what you are after and as a bonus, she will make it her own and give it a special spin which will turn it into something much more memorable for you than any script of fantasy could produce.
Finally, if for any reason you need to cancel, call! Standing up a Domme for a session, especially a first session is not only rude, it can often cost her money. Most independent Dommes will rent spaces for your session. You don't show, they may still have to pay, especially if you don't give them any warning. It is very common for Dommes to require confirmation calls, sometimes the morning of the session, sometimes a few days before. If for any reason you need to cancel, even if it is just cold feet, you must call and let them know. They will thank you for it. And if you don't, you will find it difficult, if not impossible, to get a session in the future!
Follow those tips and you will have a great session! Play safe and have fun.
